


That Old Standard

by Flamingbluepanda



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Butt Plugs, Fluff, Masturbation, Other, cum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:42:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25296367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamingbluepanda/pseuds/Flamingbluepanda
Summary: Jack likes to feel filled
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones (implied)
Kudos: 44





	That Old Standard

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even fucking know man I'm taking anatomy for the third time and I'm the calm, battle-worn veteran amidst a group of panicking adults who freak out three times a day over the workload. Take this ficlet and let me suffer.
> 
> Dedicated to that old standard, the stun gun. And also right hands.

Jack’s been at Torchwood twelve years when a Fl’Quarian butt plug falls through the Rift. He’s grateful as sin that Emily sends him to go get it, because otherwise someone would have destroyed it or archived it and  _ that _ would’ve been a crime against humanity and gay men everywhere

The Fl’quaria were a race of large, muscular men with long tails and manes like lions. They loved the pleasures in life - good food, thick wine, a fast-paced hunt, and a romp in the grass. They had some things that were rather primitive, but their butt plugs were revolutionary. Self-heating stone that grows to fit the wearer so only one person can use it once it’s claimed. They were banned for illegal exportation by the time Jack had been born, so the fact that an unclaimed Fl’quarian butt plug fell through the Rift...well, it kept Jack sane

Flash forward, 1996.

Jack was having... what you would call a  _ dry spell _ .

His last serious relationship had been with a man named Geoff, who was built like a tank and smelled like rich cigars. Unfortunately, he was also a self-entitled prick who was terrible in bed, and Jack had been glad to see the back of him. The month after was a nightmare, with the Rift spitting out daily trouble and Alex riding his ass in every sense but literal unfortunately. Usually, Jack had no trouble finding partners, but it seemed as if there were no single guys or girls with strap-ons left in Cardiff and Jack couldn’t seem to get a threesome for the life of him.

(Historically, this was around when he turned to his collection of toys.)

He didn’t realize he’d let the Fl’quarian  _ masterpiece _ fall to the bottom of his toy chest, unused, but he cursed himself for it immediately. As soon as he had a night off, he grabbed a bottle of lube, the plug, and an old favorite - page sixty-four of a certain porn mag, containing one of the hottest erotica stories Jack had ever read.

(He’d learn, much later, that page sixty-four was written by a certain Welsh tea boy who fell through the Rift for a day just before his and Jack’s seventh wedding anniversary. Jack had been getting off on his own wedding present for years, but that was beside the point.)

He started lazily tugging on his cock as he read, licking his lips and feeling himself grow hard. It had been too long since he’d gotten a good finger fucking - twentieth-century men, always so excited for the main event they forgot the lead-up. Sighing contentedly, Jack put his magazine aside so he could tease himself open with his left hand. He groaned, scraping a thumb over his hole.

Jack grunted as he worked a finger into himself, planting his feet to get a better angle. John had always said Jack was gifted with large hands specifically so he could shove them into someone’s ass, and honestly, Jack agreed with him. There was a finesse to it, an art to -  _ oh fuck _ . Jack forgot what he was thinking as he finally bumped his prostate. Sparks of pleasure shot up his spine, and he sighed, forgoing a tease to massage himself open.

Finally, three fingers later, he reached for the plug.

It was built so it required no lube, and Jack lifted himself up so he could slowly lower himself down. The stone warmed as soon as it touched his entrance, shifting and expanding like warm silk as he slid down. Jack groaned as it pressed against his prostate, fisting his cock and tugging faster and faster until he came all over his sheets.

The plug became his favorite toy - the new year rolled around, Alex hired more people, and Jack had time to go out every night and pick up a bicurious twink in a bar when he felt like it.

Being full of cum was a favorite feeling of his, and one day as Jack dragged himself home after a great night with two guys, he saw the plug sitting on his nightstand.

He knew that keeping strangers’ cum in him was probably a bad idea, but the boys had assured him they were clean before they went condomless, and it wasn’t like Jack could die of AIDS - well, not permanently at least.

And thus began a new tradition - keeping the cum of his one night stands in his body.

He even started taking the plug with him, asking his partners to stuff him if he trusted them enough and then slipping away in the night - always at night, because the one and only time he stayed till the morning, he woke up to his phone ringing

Jack ended up running down an invading horde of Galmorians - slime monsters that melted clothing. (Poor, poor Lucy who looked up to make sure her coworker was okay after a slime monster and got an eyeful of the silvery stone sitting between his cheeks.)

Jack kept up the tradition for years and only managed to get an STD once. He was quite proud and content to continue the tradition. In fact, he made it his new century resolution. He was even wearing the plug the day he found Alex going crazy.

Needless to say, things went kind of nuts after that, and Jack’s newfound status as leader led him straight into a six-year dry spell.

It was only in the months after Canary Wharf, the week where Jack had Suzie and Tosh and Owen finally settling into a rhythm that he even thought about sitting down with his old friend, the Fl’quarian butt plug.

In fact, just as he was going to, he got a Rift alert.

A Weevil in Bute Park

Jack didn’t get the chance to use the plug again.

(Well, not on his own at least) 

**Author's Note:**

> Check it
> 
> www.flamingbluepanda.tumblr.com
> 
> pls hit me w/ a bus  
> byeeeeeee


End file.
